Given up Alcohol!

As of writing this im 3 days sober, not huge but it's a positive step in the right direction.

I went out a couple of days ago to a nightclub that had a retro/school disco theme for the night. The music was old school, the bass was deep and the girls were hot, everyone was having a good time. The plan for the night was to (with a friend) simply to have a good time but also to go up and talk to a few girls, just to help with the fear of rejection i am working on. For the most part, the night was great for the reasons mentioned above, i actually had the best time i think i could of given the circumstances. Even though i left it late, i did go and up talked to a couple of groups of girls and i felt good about that...night was a success in that regard. However, when i was making my way home it hit me hard, i was hiding behind alot of excuses.

I noticed that the friend i was out with used alcohol as a reason not to get on the dancefloor where the action with and not to talk to the many girls that were around us. He didn't even try and i assume it was because he was self conscious to the point where drinking provided a much needed 'comfort'. I felt sorry for him, to allow the fear of rejection to get to that point is sad. Combined with the relatively high amount of money i spent on alcohol that night, it forced me to ask myself the question: Why do i drink?

The following points came up when i considered whether or not i should cut alcohol out of my life.

1. I never feel the need or desire to drink, i only do so to 'fit in socially'

2. It's really easy to go through money when drinking and id prefer to save

3. I don't particularly enjoy the taste

4. more often then not i will feel worse off 

5. I get the same buzz, that people get from drinking, from the music/atmosphere/dancefloor

Conclusion: I don't need alcohol and id be better off without it

Join me on my journey to conquer this enemy. Id also like to hear about your efforts or thoughts about alcohol in general :)

ForeverConflicted

My personal challenge...

Today is going to mark my most successful attempt yet. Once and for all i am going to remove women from the pedestal that i have them on at the moment and conquer my fear of rejection. Watch this space because within 4 months i will be dating the girl of my dreams. It's time to grow up!

I get knocked down but i get up again...

This is dedicated to all those guys n girls who despite constant rejection never give up :)


Last Saturday night (Australian time) was originally meant to be a good night out on the town. I had a few friends lined up and i had planned to go out and get over my fear of rejection. "Tonight is going to be the night, enough is enough" i remember telling myself in an attempt to build my confidence. However as that morning/day wore on, the weather turned apocolyptic and there were thunderstorms, maybe lighting and a whole lot of coldness. This was when my friends started to cancel on me, "it will be too cold n wet" or better yet, some complete non responses at all...

I will not lie, it did affect me and was a blow to my confidence. As it turned out the weather was pretty damn good for a winter's evening but still no luck in convincing anyone to come out. Fear not though my friends, i went out anyway...i was determined to conquer my fears, i had to be prepared to go out on my own, no excuses! So with the Adrenaline coursing through my veins i head out and after getting some pizza i went straight to the pool/8ball/snooker hall/club that me n my friends had went to the previous Saturday night.

An extremely attractive barmaid, that i had worked up alot of courage to talk to and have a good conversation the week before, recognised my and said hello. I was feeling good, so i walk up to the bar, i don't look completely interested and i engage her in conversation again. It was all going great, here i was talking to an extremely attractive girl who seemed genuine, down to earth, not 'stuck-up' and for better or worse i was considering inviting her to a comedy show the following week.

*massive sigh*...i then, noticing just how busy the place with say "wow, me n my friends picked a good night to come out and play" to which she reponded "do you even have any friends? because you did this last time". Needless to say my confidence was DESTROYED and i quickly went home shortly after, more devastated that my self-confidence was so low at the time that i couldn't handle the situation :(

and then i went out next saturday...


This post should help to explain the first part of my So proud post